Trying to keep it real...

So I'm realizing that its been almost 6 months since I went to Uganda, and its starting to fade, its starting to feel like I never even went, like it was just some dream that happened to somebody else. So I've decided to try and recount everything I can think of about the trip, to just have it down and out there so that I can look back at it as it goes away even more...this is going to be kind of stream of consciousness, so here goes.

Its the morning I'm leaving, I'm leaving my family for 11 days to go to Kitgum, Uganda. I have fought with God about this trip for many months, hoping for any excuse not to go and yet wanting to go with all my heart. I wake up early, shower and get ready. I'm trying hard not to cry because I'm afraid if I start I won't be able to stop. I take off my engagement ring, intending to leave it home (we were told we should) but it seems to ominous and so I put it back on where it should be. I get everything set and get the kids up. I've bought them stuffed animals with the idea that they have something to hug when they are missing me. This is more for Julia than anyone I suppose. Finally its time to go, Amber's here, we need to get to the airport. Julia's sobbing hysterically, Kendall starts crying because Julia is, Bill is trying hard not to cry. He is just as nervous about this trip as I am, for so many reasons. 5 days with my mom, work, football starting, worrying about me and my safety...I feel like someone has punched me repeatedly in the stomach. My mom is trying to be inconspicuous but because she's my mom it just doesn't work. We drive away and all I can see is Julia wailing and I'm trying to keep it together...

The drive to the airport gets better. Sun comes up, we get past all the depressing emptiness between Laramie and Cheyenne. Being at the airport, there's people and busyness all around to distract me...it feels strange checking my bags to Entebbe, Uganda...I wonder if they will get there. I manage to eat a McDonald's southern chicken sandwich because I have to take my malaria pill and know from experience that no food is a bad idea. I sit waiting for Stacy and Ryan, the couple from Laramie, to arrive. They're late. I try to read a magazine, call Bill on the cell phone and ask what the heck am I doing, see how Julia did getting off to school. Finally Ryan and Stacy arrive. They are annoyingly not nervous at all. Of course they're not, they're on this adventure together, they're not leaving their most precious people behind to travel to Africa. We get on the plane at some point and head for Detroit. I don't remember much about this flight at all.

When we get to Detroit it is depressing and rainy. There is a cool indoor monorail thing that glides above us which is interesting to look at. I want to find the nearest ticket counter and head straight back to Denver. Stacy and Ryan and I eat at the Chilis near our gate. I have a half sandwich and a salad and Ryan kindly pays for me. Then we meet up with Audrey and Linda, 2 of our teammates. First thoughts--Linda doesn't stop talking and Audrey is a total dear. I'm not so much in the mood for socializing so I call Bill and cry and say I want to come home. If he tells me to get on a plane and do just that, I would but he's a good husband and encourages me and makes me feel better. I talk to Julia and I'm sure she cries because she cries every time I talk to her on this trip. I try to be brave and eventually we get on the plane for the overnight to Amsterdam.

More later...